Written by Sabine Demosthenes

I’m in total shock.

I’m in this weird, very bad dream where Anthony Bourdain committed suicide.

Can I wake up out of this terrible dream and this horrendous week?

Wake up!

It’s not a nightmare. This is real.

I’m on my train ride into city and I’m just crying. The young lady next to me probably thinks I got dumped by a boyfriend, but it way worse than that.

Anthony was one of the people I looked to in order to set an example as a good communicator, a good citizen of the world and to be the “enfant terrible” of my generation.

He made me feel like it was okay to be an outsider, to be different and to be real without being obnoxious.

His TV show, “Parts Unknown”, is a ritual of mine and my hubby. Anthony was such a good guy. Not the most perfect one, but you could see that he had this gentle soul, even when he was looking like a real rock star with all his tattoos and his attitude.

I am speechless.

My thoughts are going to his family, to his love, to Éric Ripert and to all of his friends, including the fans.

I wish I could write his biography, but you know what, if you want to know who Tony was, please watch all of “Parts Unknown” and read his masterpiece book, “Don’t Eat Before Reading This”.

I will write it until I’m dying, but for anyone that is struggling, please, reach out.

One of my favorite quotes from Anthony is:

“You learn a lot about someone when you share a meal with him”

Thank you Chef!

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